Because We Are Living in a Cartoon World, and I Am a Cartoon Girl

I swear on my stack of Mother Jones, I'm not one of those people who's californicating Oregon. True, I lived in LA for seven years before moving to Portland. But that was for grad school. I was just a two-door hatchback among the Humvees. A reader of Barthes and Bakhtin among adherents of Botox and breast implants.

Los Angeles v. Portland. The classic Tale of Two Freddies.

Fred Meyer store, flanked by bus shelter used by shopper who's just spent $300 on a week's worth of groceries, plus a can of zero VOC paint, two sets of moose-themed flannel bedsheets, the DVD of "An Inconvenient Truth," a supersoaker for the kids (you can't have too much airborne moisture in Portland), and a four-pack of florescent light bulbs.
Official slogan "What's on your list? You'll find it at Fred Meyer."

Fred Segal store, flanked by expensive Mercedes convertible driven by shopper who's just spent $300 on a designer tshirt.
Unofficial slogan "Who's on the A-list? They're shopping at Fred Segal."


Green in LA means the moola, the bucks, the dead presidents. Green in Portland means tossing your used herbal tea leaves in the compost bin, so you can use them to fertilize your organic garden.

True, I wasn't rolling in the green when I lived in LA. I had friends who made made in a week writing for TV what I made in a year slaving as a TA. But still it was glamorous. Cause my well-remunerated friends put me in their TV in show, Mission Hill.
I was Natalie, neighbor of the main characters. Natalie was a loud-mouthed women's studies professor. At last my childhood dream of growing up to be Rhoda Morgenstern, the wise-cracking, Jewish feminist next door had come true!

Of course, being television's most animated feminist has its drawbacks. When they were casting for voices for the show, I auditioned for the part of me, but was turned down. That's a real ontological crisis. And then we were canceled after two episodes. That's another ontological crisis. This in a city where most people thing ontology must be an obscure plastic surgery sub-specialty.

But don't cry for me Angelenos. Here in Portland, life is just as animated. (Turn the volume up before you hit play. It'll be worth it. Even if you do get busted for reading blogs at work)


So what if the green rewards for writing that song (which I did! at last my childhood dream of growing up to be Darrin Stevens has come true . . . wait a minute, I never dreamed that) aren't anywhere near the green rewards for writing TV.