Sunday, September 21, 2008

I Shot a Moose

I shot a moose.

I was hunting, upstate New York, and I shot a moose.

Okay, okay, so that wasn't me.

That was Woody Allen.

It's an honest mistake. Between the shnoz and the glasses . . . all us people look alike.

Really, I wouldn't shoot a moose.

I have nothing against moose.

I love moose.

I also have nothing against moose hunters.

Not per se.

I've even partied with moose hunters.
Note actual bull moose antlers on the wall.
From a bull that was killed by our host, Trent.
Don't be fooled by the perspective.
The antlers are bigger than the pile of empties.

Though the moose hunters' pile of empties is certainly not inconsequential.

My squeeze the Cheez is, after all, a Newfie.

And Newfies would never turn down moose meat.
Though they would hunt down moose meat. And they do, every chance they get.

Environmentalist/pescetarian/city dwelling Hebe that I am, it's always a little weird when we go to visit the Newfoundland and Labrador relatives. Because they kill most of what they eat. At least, most of their protein sources.

It is very hard to kill vegetables in Newfoundland and Labrador, as none of them grow there.

Or almost none. If you are a potatocidal maniac, you can probably work yourself up a heckuva slaughter.

Alton Rumbolt, pictured above in his baseball cap, is only an avocational moose hunter. He is a professional fisherman. So whether it's a workday or a day off, he's pretty much kicking a protein source to the curb.

Not that there are curbs where he lives. Or paved roads.

He does lay off the protein assassinating while serving his community. Alton is as a member of the town council of Mary's Harbour, Labrador.

Here is the full roster of town officials for Mary's Harbour:

Mayor: Ford Rumbolt
Deputy Mayor: Larry Rumbolt
Councillors (note colourful Canadian spelling!): Alton Rumbolt, Bradley Rumbolt, Darron Rumbolt, Harvey R. Rumbolt, and, lest ye think nepotism has a stranglehold on the town, Janice Sooley.
The Town Clerk is Glenys Rumbolt. If she is unavailable, fear not, as Relief Clerk Sheena Rumbolt can step in.
Albert Rumbolt runs the Maintenance Department, Jeffrey Rumbolt runs the Fire Department, and Bradley Rumbolt runs the Recreation Department — which means he oversees the Raymond C. Rumbolt Memorial Recreation Centre.

I can't say that they are all of them moose hunters. But I have my suspicions. You know how it is with smalltown politicians up in the frozen North.

1 comment:

Leo Daedalus said...

Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi' bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murd'ring pattle!